Adjay77’s Memories…

There are some things in life that you may have no control over. Its something that everybody goes through. Either its at work, at home, in the car; and even at time in places one would think nothing would go wrong (usually). In Your Own Mind.
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You must be wondering what i’m blabbering about. I’m just looking for an outlet to vent out my frustration and it seems like Bloggin is one of those unfortunate places people come and actually ‘vent’ out or people ‘venting’ in. And for those unfortunate enough to open my Blogger and begin reading this… Oops…
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“To Err is Human, To Forgive is Devine…”
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Such a deep statement, and I sometimes wonder “who the hell came up with this kind of stuff?” Human is being human, thats what I think. Whatever shit happens is caused by something that you or somebody else did. No two ways about it, except if you think of it in a spiritual way. Cause and Effect. Action and Reaction. Remember these extracts? Hmm, feel like watching Matrix all the sudden…
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“It is Gods Design. Life; Fate; Destiny; is moved by the Hand of God. And Death is its Consort.”
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Herecy! Pagan! Is that something somebody with religious belief’s would think? In truth, I don’t know. I’m beginning to sound like some bloody Oracle or just a bad version of the Fortune Teller I see in those Mega Malls. Its the way we live, the lifestyle, even the air we breath thats slowly corrupting our souls to damnations. The bottom line is; well, what i’m trying to say is; there are F**ked up days, and there ARE more F**ked up days. And I guess i’m having one of those days. Everybody and everything is the enemy and out to get you. And no matter what you do, you get swallowed by it little by little. In the End, all there is to accompany you is Loneliness.
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Its always by you, with you, In you. Holding you in its cold embrace. Comfort? Fear? What is it that you feel before the Darkness slowly shrouds you in its endless Depths? Whats left?
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Theres only Madness. For those who was Done ME wrong, beware my vengence. Revenge is best harbored till it festers for when IT appears, it will flood even the purest souls. It is Penance and I am the Fire. The satisfaction of Revenge is always so bitter sweet.
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28 years on this Earth, and there has only been two that has seen my other self. My other side which I desperately fight with every single day. But there are moments that Temptation is such sweet nectar. What would happen to the people I Care and Love if my Darker side wins? Who will save my Soul then?
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Thank You for listening to my crying Heart. Nuf’ Said. LaterZ.

24 hours ago
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Went online to check my mail and received email from my kid sister containing pictures of my nephew’s 2nd birthday. It was on the 15th. I came back on the 11th. Sucks.
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12 hours ago
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Checked online for more emails to make me feel I haven’t lost contact with the world. Zippo. Nada. Niet. And I think i’m coming down with a bug.
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6 hours ago
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Practically stoned to hell and no kind of Anti-virus will cure. Just have to ride it out. Maybe it came from the Net?
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3 Hours ago
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Sporting a headache, a nose running a decathalon, and ears ringing with clogged up pressure, And i’m still sitting in front of the computer not daring to get an MC.
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One Half hour ago
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Should have gotten an MC. Saved me the trouble of clogging up my nose, carrying a ten ton head adn having ringing ears. Still sitting in front of the Computer watching ‘Valiant’ and doing work at the same time.
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30 minutes ago
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Still sitting infront of the computer and not on MC because i’m the only designer and what would happen i’f i disappeard from the studio?
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Now
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Coughing badly, head splitting and my nose an open faucet. Time to get an MC. I’m still in front of the computer and on the Net. This Sucks…

Hari Raya Aidilfitri,  3rd November 2005. As usual I returned to my hometown of Miri a day or two before the celebration started. Sitting two hours in the plane waiting for mushrooms to grow isn’t my idea of having fun for the last remaining days of the fasting month. It was stated in the newspapers (I think) that the people ‘up-there’ are gonna peer at the moon on the 2nd. Makes me wonder why they do that when they can just ask look at any Chinese calender and can see that the moons up and ready (meaning that Hari Raya is definitely on the 3rd of November). I guess its just to make it official I guess for the ruling authorities.
Saving up my holidays for Hari Raya is well worth it. After close to a year of not coming back, it sure is exhilirating to be home. How long that will last I don’t know yet. I came back to KL was in February, Started working in March and finally come home to rest (after a hectic year) in November. Not bad. But I guess my holiday isn’t long enough because I’ll miss my nephews birthday which is on the 15th November. He’ll be 2 years old. I’m leaving back for KL on the 11th. Screwed up shit that is. This only means I gotta find some big-assed present to give to him. But I don’t think anything’s big enough for a 2 year old unless I get him a car or something like that…
I always thought Hari Raya was gonna be bright and shiny. Guess again. Its wet and cold, water puddles everywhere and mud has taken residential underneath every sliver of grass to make the first day of Hari Raya as uncomfortable as possible. And like hell i’m gonna make that spoil my day (or my holiday for that matter). To prove my pont, I even went out with buddies the night before Raya itself! I think I came back at 2, helped a bit in the kitchen (or watching TV, I can’t remember) then went to sleep koz’ I gotta wake up at 6.30 for Hari Raya prayers.
And after that, its just history. Same thing every year. Went visiting, had an open house, ate and slept to our hearts content after 30 days of fasting. Hey don’t blame me if I gain a couple of kilo’s the next time you guys see me! Believe me when I say I lost 7kg during the fasting season and I think I’m gonna get back to 7kg pretty easily this holiday. What can I do? Three words people, Home cooked food. If you don’t gain weight because of that, then theres definitly something wrong with you.
Anyways, just writing this to ‘brag’ on whats been happening on the first day of the celebrations. Last but not least, Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir & Batin to each and everyone of you!