5th June 2007, Just Another Day…
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007
The last time I entered a blog, It was the most depressing time of my life. A life then, which I thought was the pinnacle of my social and personal life. I woman that I Love and I thought I’d marry someday. And a social standing in the current company I’m in which I know I am appreciated, important and most importantly respected. My name is known by very important people in the society, which I decline to name and also in the advertising line (mostly other graphic designers, followed by editors and writers). Not like the last company I was in. Eventhough nothing much changed in my social life, I guess I messed up my personal life, again. But that was so many months ago. Hit rock bottom, withered there for a while, wondering what did I do wrong in my life…
But that’s over and done with. I’m on my way up again. Feeling a lot better, helped by my close friends who helped me in the worst parts. And colleagues who treat me nothing less than their equal. A friend and a colleague. I go to parties and gatherings now, meeting new people and experince new things. Currently I’m meeting more Japanese people and learning how they live their life simply and with humility. But don’t get me wrong, even with such humility, they can really party HARD! I’ve experience two Japanese parties and I’ve enjoyed both of them immensly. Who knows? I might open my heart again and let someone in? I guess in another 4 years? These things we don’t have any control. I never intended to open my heart, but I did. And I got hurt again. Whats hurting when its just another sign of living your life? Think about it. Emotions is a major part of living and without it, we’re just an empty husk walking without a purpose.
I’ve met people. Done new things. New people. New colleagues. New Interests. New confidence. New inthusiasm. Not that I didn’t have any before. Just now its from another different perspective. Its not that I’m forgetting about the past, my Heart will always belong to Her and whatever I’ve gone through is a cherished memory which I often relive in my dreams. I’m just wondering what tomorrow holds. Not the day after. Not the week after or the future. Just tomorrow. Will I get rained on again like today? Will I hit my knee again on the side of car when I was trying to pass through traffic? Will I receive an email from a distant friend or a special friend who has I have special interest in? Who know? I just banged my funny-bone and I’m typing this email with just one finger!
‘Carpe Diem Guam Minimum Credula Postero’ Pluck The Day, Never Trust The Next, "Odes" (I.11.8) Horace
I used to live by these words. And when I was at my lowest, I forgot about it. If I had remembered it, I wouldn’t have been where I was.It took good friends to remind me of these words and I thank them. Now I live it to the fullest every single day. Keep in touch with the people that I care for even though the most important show no emotion at all for me. Friends, relatives, family. I try my best even though I feel my efforts aren’t enough. I till have time I guess, and I’m going to use it to the fullest!
Missing. Caring. Yearning. Loving. Living.
